Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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