I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
