I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
