This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
