worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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