i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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