if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
