I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
