You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
