Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
