yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
