Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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