So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
