Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it was like eating out sand paper
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
