my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
