And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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