Moan for me like Helen Keller
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
