The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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