Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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