Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
