So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
