there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
