don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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