How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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