the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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