i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
