All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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