Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
party gras won. party gras always wins.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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