good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My vagina is very pro this idea
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
