question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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