Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You took a bar mat shot.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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