Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
