I take back everything I said about communal showers
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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