Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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