Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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