Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
