is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
