Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
