Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
