How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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