you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
Dude. Iām playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
After everything Iāve doneā¦ had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey gamesā¦. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
