If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
being pregnant is like rehab
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
