Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
