Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think my moral compass just broke
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
