nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You can't just leave with hair like that
the liver wants what the liver wants
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
