he shaved USA in his pubs
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Everclear isn't food dammit
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