She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
