please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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