Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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