i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
