At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
