Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
