I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
